Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My life is pants optional.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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