I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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