Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
