From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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