Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
