Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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