if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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