i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize