who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
