Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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