I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
