It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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