I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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