I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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