The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
