Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
