My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
