I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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