Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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