Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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