Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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