she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
