I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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