LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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