Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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