he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
