You don't have asthma, your pregnant
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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