Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
