you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm always down for nudity.
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