i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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