U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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