Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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