i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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