i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
