we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
