just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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