shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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