Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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