I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize