I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize