I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
