You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
