I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
