Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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