im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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