Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
