have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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