yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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