So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
