can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is puke in my bra ... again
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