imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize