I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
