i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
