Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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