@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
