Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You made out with two different species that night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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