When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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