let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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